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As October crawls into the past, things seem as hectic as ever. I’ve neglected chronicling my antics as I geared up for the Iowa-Missouri Peacemaker Retreat that my wife and I presented. It went very well and I think a handful of people are motivated to make changes in their homes and communities. The week before we were at a church presenting on the same topic. So the last half of this month has been dedicated to Biblical conflict resolution and interpersonal reconciliation.

So what of November? I would like to see November become a month of shoring up bookkeeping, for the business, for the home, and for my personal projects. I also expect to get some web content/applications moved, updated, and created. And lastly, I want to make some measurable strides in getting at least one of the three books in my head out into electronic form. This has already begun, but the expectation is measurable progress through November.

On the family front, we’ll have a visit from my Mom for about 20% of the month (almost a week). I’ve taken each of the older kids out for time with dad. But I’d like to find some projects around the house to do together. There needs to be some more effort in this department. What could November contribute?

That should make month #482 a valuable month. I still have a couple of days for planning and I hope to take advantage of that. Getting up too early this morning has contributed to that goal, however.

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For me, I am a list person.  And I’m not.

I like making lists.  It can actually feel the items dripping out of my brain and onto the list.  I then have space to add new things to my mental memory banks.

But there’s the problem I see in many places.  I don’t have a good name for it though.  Well, when you don’t have a good name for something you give it a little description and call it a “syndrome.”  So this is “I declared it, so it’s done” syndrome.

I sit in meetings where we discuss a course of action.  The discussion can get elevated and when we come to a decision, it feels like we really did something.  But we didn’t do anything!  We decided to do something.  That’s not the same as carrying out the decision – I have to keep reminding myself of this, because I suffer from this syndrome.

So when I make a “to do” list (or a “will do” list, or a “wish to do” list, or a “should do” list, or now a “do do” list…), I think that putting it on the list accomplishes something.  I think that is because I feel the dripping out sensation.  I think what I need to find is the feeling of accomplishment.

This leads me to a life coaching question, “What have you done well, lately?”  This could be refined to yesterday, or even so far today.  This question puts aside the nice feeling you get from “I declared it, so it’s done” syndrome, and actually asks you to dig in and recognize actual accomplishments.

Then as a follow up, you just ask clarifying questions.  “How do you plan to continue doing this?”  “What else could you do to build on this?”  “How did you feel when you recognized you achieved this accomplishment?”

This is a great self-coaching session you can have with yourself whenever you need to step it up a notch and actually accomplish what’s on your list and not just be a list maker.

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Wow, it’s been almost a week since I posted.  I read an entry on another blog that you should only write a blog post 2-3 times a week.  You will wear people out with all your drivel otherwise.  To each their own.  If I was blogging for them, I might take that advice.  But at this point – I’m blogging purely for myself, so…

I just read this morning about two things to do to conquer procrastination:

1. Break it up – look at tasks you are putting off in small, manageable, bite-sized pieces.
2. Write it down – writing goals is great, but to help with this problem you need to log what you’re doing so you can look at it with honesty and see where you are wasting your time.

I think I’m up for this.  As a major procrastinator, I want to find something that works.  Because my whole goal in the “SetOfSail” thing is to find things that work and share them with “the rest of us.”

So how do I achieve that?  Do I use my Palm and put entries in DayNotez?  Do I put entries in Twitter (which will be rebounded back to here)?  Nope – nixing that one up front.  Could use AirSet… that’s a possibility.  Or could use my text TODO trick…  I hate having so many options!  Just kidding.  Options are a good thing – when you take one.

So my Will Do list today consists of:

• Decide how to track my procrastination list (I’ll call this my “Do Do” list 😉
• At work – try to understand the CAL since I’ll be working on it for a few days 🙁
• Have an outline for this weekends Sabbath School lesson (handouts would be good)

Let’s not get carried away.  This is plenty.

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So what should be done today?  I’ve already had some time reading about building an extraordinary life, specifically about the influence of friends and peers in our choices and outcomes.  I’ve also cleared out my e-mail (I get about 2,000 e-mails a day, 1,980 of them are junk!  Maybe I should but getting a better spam filter as a task to accomplish!).

I got an e-mail from a friend about their support of Ron Paul for president in 2008, I went and looked at his positions.  I strongly agree with all of them except two, so does that mean I should support him?  Something to think about…  I enjoy watching and learning about politics.  I happen to live in a country where I actually have an option to participate.

So that’s quite a bit accomplish and it’s not even 7 am.  So what will I commit to do today?

1) Finish my sermon (no option there).

I think that’s all I’m going to commit to today.  The rest will just be a bonus.  Hurray!

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Andrew was a veteran at the Thirty Day Challenge. And he has decided to pursue an online career. He gave this video as a rationalization for why. This is really something to think about.

I added this article thinking that you’d be able to see the video here, but I guess you would have to leave the site by clicking on “read more” below…  I would like a better solution.

read more | digg story

What did we learn from yesterday?  For one thing, the Twitter Tool doesn’t update late at night, so all my updates on meeting my commitments weren’t logged yesterday.  No big deal.  And I missed one item on my list of three things – terrible?  Maybe, but we won’t look back.  It’s hard to drive by steering through the rear view mirror.

For today I have a few things that I will do:
1) Get a haircut
2) Start on my sermon
3) (for work) Have a determination on whether Ajax will work for me – or decide on an alternative.

Very simple.

Something else I thought about (showers are great places for ideas!).  At the end of the day I’ll have questions such as, “Did it make a difference that you were a father today?”  Well, should it?  If it didn’t what needs to change?  You can use that for any area of your life.

I watched some videos this morning about setting up an on-line business.  I think I’m making this thing way to complicated.  I’m sitting on the shore in the morning watching the sailboats launching out and mourning the fact that I don’t have anywhere to go…

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So, this morning I’m going to list out just the simple things I’m going to accomplish.  This is not a “To Do” list.  Whenever I see ToDo, I think of DoDo, am I the only one?  And your mind can run wild with what you would do with a list of DoDo items.  I’m not looking to dribble on with all the things that need to be addressed in my life (I do have a day job to go to you know).  But this is about making a commitment.  So I’ll start small and make commitments I can keep and build up goal-setting muscle.  Ok, here goes.

Today,

1. I’m going to make a phone call to a friend about a testimony to be made this weekend as part of my sermon.
2. I’m going to spend 40 minutes on my Certification paperwork.
3. (And one more for my day job) I’ll complete data access for Price Sharing (I know this means nothing to you, but this isn’t your list now – is it?).

So, how am I going to accomplish this?  I’ll make a priority and decide it “will be done.”  I don’t know – it’s worth a try.  And the only thing worse than failing is not trying.  So let’s see if I fail – I’m already trying, so I’m working my way up toward success.  See how easy that is?

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I have had two months now…

August was when I pushed everything off my desk and focused on learning about Internet Marketing.  I made it through and learned enough to know that I could turn the rudder of my life and head in that direction, but also that it isn’t quite me.  However, the lessons and friends I picked up are highly valuable.  These are resources for moving forward in my journey.

September was recovery month.  I had a conference to attend, family coming in from out of town, and a pile of responsibilities that I had shirked.  In comparison to this, turning 40 was practically overlooked.

So now it’s October.  This month is all about commitments.  I have major commitments I’ve made for each weekend for the rest of the month (and for the first weekend of November, but since it fits in with the theme – we’ll pull that one in with October – do you mind?).  And I have a big milestone looming at work – so it’s not like I can slack there to prepare for the weekend events.

All that just to say that I am really looking at the nooks and crannies of my day to find time to “get things done.”  The typical solution to this problem is to let go of things, get rid of the excess baggage to make room.  But in this situation that doesn’t seem to be an option – each day is filled with important things.  So what do you do when this happens to you.  It doesn’t happen to me often, and maybe I should try it more, but my choice, my turning point / fork in the road, is to turn up the heat.  If you’re following along (which no one is at the moment, so I feel pretty safe in trying…), then this will be the place where I’m holding accountability court.

I’ll start with some other posts and we’ll see how it turns out.

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I just got back from a conference last night.  I’ve been gone for a week.  This is the first time my wife and I have been able to get away, just the two of us, for years – yes, years.  Maybe I’ll talk more about that another time.

Right now I want to say a few things about what I’m facing now.  I have e-mails, voice mails, things on my calendar that I put off until “after the conference,” and all the projects that I need to pick back up.  Where do I start?  This morning I read a chapter in a book about this very idea of focus.

The basic tenant is to be where you are when you’re there.  If you are playing with your children, don’t be thinking about your appointments or what you are going to do regarding projects you have going.  Don’t plan your work day at home, plan it at work.  When you sit down to work deal with it then.  This was a big one for me: don’t plan your day while commuting.  While you are commuting, you should be concentrating on commuting!  It’s a concrete jungle out there, and that intentional focus will actually increase your chances for arriving at work or at home.  Be intentional and train your brain to focus on the task or the person at hand.

The biggest focus killer for many is worry.  I’m not much of a worrier.  I have my moments, but usually I’m to ignorant of the future to let it get to me.  But I know for many people this is a constant boat anchor on their ability to focus.  You can’t think about two things at once.  If this were true we would not say, “My mind was wandering” when we are trying to focus on a task and our thoughts are elsewhere.  Worry is a form of mind wandering.  You cannot worry and practice mental focus at the same time.  So try to increase your ability to focus.  I’ve heard people say, “I don’t have time to worry.”
  You can make this true for you as well.  Learn the discipline of focus.

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I was in the first grade at Brier Crest Elementary school.  Our school had three stories and the stair wells were in the center of the building with sky lights letting the bright sunshine to diffuse down and reflect off the white tiles.  I was headed back to my class after lunch and from the top floor one of the 6th graders looked down the stairs and saw me.

“Hey kid!” he shouted, “you wanna learn something to make you real smart?”

“Sure!” I yelled.

“Pie times diameter equals circumference!  Remember that and you’ll be real smart!”

I repeated it back to myself a couple of times until I knew I wouldn’t forget it.  What a great day!  Just out of nowhere this gem of wisdom comes floating down from those great elementary school titans – the 6th graders.  I just couldn’t wait until I could achieve the 6th grade.  And with my new found key to the storehouse of knowledge I would be unstoppable!  If only I could get to the 6th grade, I’d be happy then!

Then when I got to 6th grade I learned about the Jr. high kids and how they got to go to different classes.  When I could take more of my favorite classes and have more than one teacher, then I’d be happy.

And then in Jr. High I went over to my friend Jamie’s house.  His older brothers were in high school.  They had these cool jackets with our school colors on them.  Wow, when I got to high school, I’d be happy then.

In high school I was one of the first to get my drivers’ license, due to the fact that my birthday is in the fall.  As soon as I got my license and could drive, I’d surely be happy then.

I got my car, and in a few years I was a senior in high school.  But there were so many rules.  I would really be happy when I got to college and on my own.

After college and my friends were all getting married – I’d be happy when I got married.

And after I got married everyone asked, when I’d have kids.  I’d be happy when I had a family.

Now my kids are growing up so fast, I’ll finally be happy when they are older and we can do more things as a family.  If only that would happen, then I’d be happy.

Where does this end?  I keep waiting for that day I’ll be happy!

Maybe I better stop looking for happiness then, and see about happiness now…

What about you?  Are you saying “If only… then I’d be happy?”

Happiness is a choice, not unlike contentment.  We can be happy in some pretty miserable circumstances.  I remember being very happy one summer afternoon while dancing and goofing off with friends during a terrible summer storm.  We could be grouchy that we were soaked, or we could have some fun.  We were a little too old for that, but other people were crouched in business doorways and under trees.  We were out in the streets having fun!  Same circumstances, different choices.

You have to decide what your happiness is.  You can have it today, you won’t have to wait.  You just need to decide what it is!

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